Too quiet?

Did you not hear me or did you purposely ignore me? Well I'm pretty sure you didn't hear me..but I'm still feeling insecure to this point.
That girl? I know she's already with someone but the fact that you were so comfortable talking to her and smiling, I was jealous instantly. Why can't you be that happy when you talk to me? :| It made me reflect on the little chance I actually have. However, I'm not going to give up. I still have a little bit of time.. I just wish I can think of something to talk to you about. I feel like everything I say is pretty childish or something that wouldn't interest you. I'm going to work that out.  SIKE. I'm bout to give up like right now. Too smart, WAY too good for me, not enough time. Hahahaha who was I even kidding-___-...this is seriously at 0% now. i give uppp. =[ it'll pass, it'll pass... STOP CONFUSING ME YOU IDIOT♥
Some points in life, you think...wow my life really sucks. [relatively]
Well, right now I can honestly say I'm not happy. Nothing's going good. Nothing at all. I feel like I've hit rock bottom and I'm staying there. Please April, change things around. <3