Virginia [Recap]

you know what?
we need to stop adoring the ones that ignore us and stop ignoring the ones that adore us.


Honestly, I was expecting it to be amazing just like Disney.
They say, expectations is the key to disappointment.
I was really, really disappointed. Everything just didn't go right.
I mean, my roomies are fun & nice to hang out with...but outside of that, it was just terrible. I wanted to get a picture with him, I failed to reach that goal. Then I wanted a picture with my bestfriend. Oh, that's another story.

My bestfriend:  [male]
How can I even call him my bestfriend? Am I blind? Am I dumb? He's obviously NOT my bestfriend because bestfriends dont neglect each other. Bestfriends dont only talk to each other when they NEED to use them. Bestfriends don't completely forget about each other when someone else more important pops up. Thank you best friend for being the most amazing best friend ever. Thanks for only talking to me when you needed me. Thanks for basically ignoring me the whole time there. This was my test. I didn't talk to you because I wanted to see if you approached me (while trying to keep my promise) but you didn't even try. You came to me when you needed to use me or use something of mine. You don't care about me at all, obviously. When I parted from the group, you didn't even ask where I was. You didn't even notice I was gone. (how bad is that?>.>) Thennn, when I decided not to go to the lunch table JUST BECAUSE I didn't want to see you..you didnt even bother asking where I went. You're really great. I'm glad I met someone like you. You're just SUCH A GOOD BESTFRIEND -___- I'm just so upset right now. It's funny cuz usually it's the guy that cares about the girl, but this time is the it's the other way around. I feel stupid. Kbye ._.


To pile on top of this,
I love my bestfriend [female] :DD but sometimes I start to wonder why I'm so inadequate compared to her.
During the trip, every guyy wanted to talk to her and they were like flirting with her non stop.
When they saw me, they were like...either *ignore & dislike" "ew.." "oh. the unimportant one."
I mean it's not like I have feelings or anything. Nothing they say will really affect me because you know, I don't really exsist and I'm not really there until they need meh, ya know?
I'm started to wonder if they would even TALK to me if I weren't friends with her? I can't believe my friendship with guys depends on my bestfriend. This is fucking ridiculous. I'm sick of it. I sick of being INADEQUATE.
I mean...I know sometimes I can be stupid & ask dumb questions..and sometimes I can be hyperly annoying. But am I THAT much worse than her? Am I just "some friend" of her? Geez. I feel like they treated me like freakin' dirt. Am I that much uglier? Am I that much dumber? Am I that much meaner? WTF. I'm even NICE TO THEM. I'm not mean, arrogant, not that annoying (?).
I have no friends, obviously.
It's funny because no one can see my pain. No one cares, so why should I? Why am I even alive? lol.
It's like, the harder I try to satisfy their needs, the less they cared.
Truth be told, I hated this trip.